I’m not even much older and I realize, Huh, as much as I want to fight secrets with my entire existence, I notice fears that are deeply embarrassing—and tiny victories that only exist in distinction from those perceived defeats.
I also notice how much falls away when I’m really in the thick of what is important, and what I’m so generously lavished upon to have passion for. Focusing on a drawing, researching something fascinating persistently or beholding how beautiful people in my life are.
Dreams are scary. Those wishes your heart makes 😉? Sometimes, I feel a certain knee-jerk reaction.
Poof—let it go, that’s a dream we don’t have to have. That’s a goal or a hope we don’t want to depend on for fulfillment…because I don’t believe in its fruition. Or care to foray into the path for it.
To that I say one of my favorite things,
Check yo Slovakia before you wreck yo Slovakia.
For my current dreams, reasonable or not I feel like the following fears are on the to-conquer list:
- Dancing in front of other people
- MAJOR rehaul of my room
- Grody gunk that collects in sinks without a garbage disposal
- Hmm, bugs again. And humidity. Lol
- Delivering hard truth when it requires a vessel
So I think it’s going to take a while. No way could I have all that down at 23. Maybe half of them at 25. I’m content that patience is a slow-cooking lesson that will imbue only the best as God promises.